There is a connection we have with our bodies (and our bodies have with our mind) that is convoluted, dialectical, impatient, loving, and downright complicated (See Part 1). Sometimes, things go catastrophically wrong with that connection and we are left wondering what is wrong with us. What does a disconnection look like?
1) There are the people that don't know they have a body. I'm not kidding. They get dressed in the morning and eat every day and exercise and hug people, but never do so from a point of actually being IN their body. Their bodies are full of pain that that is just about the only thing they know about it. They have cut off their bodies and don't really feel much. They often don’t even realize that they don’t realize that they have cut off their bodies. When they start unfreezing or something gets through their tough and numbed exterior, they are often surprised that there is a whole world they never knew existed. These are the people that say things like my world became alive or full of color after falling in love or recovering from depression or finally getting relief from a debilitating illness.
2) There are the people that change their bodies in extreme ways to fit into an ideal image. They get surgery, take drugs, sculpt themselves at the gym, and watch or count everything that enters their mouth. They feel like their body doesn't match their internal image of themselves and are so dysphoric they are willing to do ANYTHING to not be what other people see them as on the outside. Their brains quite literally have an image (or a map) of what their bodies are supposed to look like. In fact, there is a whole section of the brain called the parietal lobes that integrates information from your senses and your experiences and expectations of what it means to be a human and what a human is supposed to look like to give you an internal image of what you are supposed to look like. You hear these people spending the majority of their day preoccupied with “improving” themselves. This disconnection between what you think or feel you should look like and what you actually look like is what causes why skinny people to say they feel fat and transgender individuals to say their bodies don’t match their gender.
3) There are the people that abuse their bodies in ways that poses a threat their own health. Something has happened that is so overwhelming emotionally that self-abuse and self-harm through pain, abstinence, denial, and more is the only way to get a break from the weight of the emotions and thoughts. Abusing their bodies seem to be the only thing that makes life REAL. Everyday life is like walking through a movie watching someone else, or is so horribly hellish that they feel completely and utterly isolated and alone. Physical pain and denial is a way to gain control and mastery over their own lives. The only time they feel alive is when they are getting that adrenaline rush or consuming food and drink that is making them sick or cutting themselves to make sure they are still alive.
How do you heal from a disconnection when we never acknowledged there was a connection, or even recognize that the problem is the actual connection?
Check back tomorrow for Part 3 of Thoughts on Bodies: Healing the Divide
1) There are the people that don't know they have a body. I'm not kidding. They get dressed in the morning and eat every day and exercise and hug people, but never do so from a point of actually being IN their body. Their bodies are full of pain that that is just about the only thing they know about it. They have cut off their bodies and don't really feel much. They often don’t even realize that they don’t realize that they have cut off their bodies. When they start unfreezing or something gets through their tough and numbed exterior, they are often surprised that there is a whole world they never knew existed. These are the people that say things like my world became alive or full of color after falling in love or recovering from depression or finally getting relief from a debilitating illness.
2) There are the people that change their bodies in extreme ways to fit into an ideal image. They get surgery, take drugs, sculpt themselves at the gym, and watch or count everything that enters their mouth. They feel like their body doesn't match their internal image of themselves and are so dysphoric they are willing to do ANYTHING to not be what other people see them as on the outside. Their brains quite literally have an image (or a map) of what their bodies are supposed to look like. In fact, there is a whole section of the brain called the parietal lobes that integrates information from your senses and your experiences and expectations of what it means to be a human and what a human is supposed to look like to give you an internal image of what you are supposed to look like. You hear these people spending the majority of their day preoccupied with “improving” themselves. This disconnection between what you think or feel you should look like and what you actually look like is what causes why skinny people to say they feel fat and transgender individuals to say their bodies don’t match their gender.
3) There are the people that abuse their bodies in ways that poses a threat their own health. Something has happened that is so overwhelming emotionally that self-abuse and self-harm through pain, abstinence, denial, and more is the only way to get a break from the weight of the emotions and thoughts. Abusing their bodies seem to be the only thing that makes life REAL. Everyday life is like walking through a movie watching someone else, or is so horribly hellish that they feel completely and utterly isolated and alone. Physical pain and denial is a way to gain control and mastery over their own lives. The only time they feel alive is when they are getting that adrenaline rush or consuming food and drink that is making them sick or cutting themselves to make sure they are still alive.
How do you heal from a disconnection when we never acknowledged there was a connection, or even recognize that the problem is the actual connection?
Check back tomorrow for Part 3 of Thoughts on Bodies: Healing the Divide
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