Lets have an honest conversation about stress.  I know a thing or two about conquering this demon.  I’ve been a Massage Therapist since 2010 and have struggled with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder for most of my adult life.  Every Christmas dozens of blogs and newspapers and magazines start publishing articles about “How to Manage Stress during the Holidays”.  How many of you really have the time to take any of the advice?  Furthermore, how many of you actually try even if you do have the time?

Stress is a tricky thing.  Its more than just that scattered feeling, lost keys, and rushing around.  I've discovered that managing stress is a lot more about knowing what stress is and how it affects you than actually doing anything about it.   I have a favorite metaphor for many of the people that come to see me.  You can’t DO until you BE.  We are a culture of doing.  If we aren't moving, or talking, or acting then we think we are being lazy.  In reality though, our energy levels are a lot like bank accounts.  You have to put energy into the bank before you can withdraw it, and you add energy by BEING. 

What I mean by “being” is not doing.  That means using your senses.  Paying attention.  Being curious.  I’m not advocating that you sit around and literally do nothing.  I’m advocating paying attention.  For some people that means meditation and yoga.  But, for most of us that just isn't possible.  Our stress levels are too high and we are too amped up on caffeine and adrenaline.  Fortunately, Christmas time is a wonderful time for just “being” because there are unique sights and sounds and smells this time of year.   

So my advice on beating the stress of the holidays?  Really listen to a few holiday carols and sing along if you want too!  Bake some cookies, light a candle, or enjoy a fragrant holiday drink and really enjoy the smells and tastes.  Give your friends and family hugs and really appreciate them in that moment.   Take time to be dazzled by holiday lights and decorations.   The secret to beating stress is curiosity about our world and the people in it; use your senses.  Once you are being, the doing part comes easy.


Happy Holidays!

Your low back pain may be partially blamed on gravity.  The connective tissue in and between our muscles and bones throughout our body are composed of a material that is called a sol-gel.... or a solid-gel.  This means, your connective tissue is a little like putty and if you have ever let putty sit out you will notice that it will flatten and spread out flat over time.  This can cause a world of problems if you don't sleep and relax enough each 

Check out this great article by one of my favorite Massage Therapists in the industry, Erik Dalton.  

http://erikdalton.com/media/published-articles/human-silly-putty/

Are you getting enough protein?  Most people aren't.  You should be getting up to 80% of your body weight in ounces in protein. So, if you weigh 150 lbs, you should be getting a maximum of 120g of protein each day.  

Why do we need so much protein?  Our bodies are made primarily of protein.  Carbs and sugars are our fuel and fats grease the wheels of our metabolism and provide a cushion between structures in the body like bones or between organs or cells.  Protein is what our muscles and organs are made of.  Getting enough protein is good not only for weight management but also for concentration, memory, mood, and energy.

Protein comes in a variety of sources from meat and eggs, to nuts and seeds, beans and lentils and legumes, dairy sources like milk and yogurt, and dark green veggies like broccoli. Even some grains have tons of protein in them like quinoa.  Unfortunately, the body can only digest 20-25g of protein per meal, so you must get protein at every meal and in every snack.  Fortunately, if you focus on eating only food that you can grow or raise or pick or make yourself then you will be getting plenty of protein.  



A sample daily menu:


Breakfast- eggs with veggies in an omelette or scrambled, pancakes and sausage/ham, toast or an english muffin with peanut butter or eggs and sausage/ham, Chinese fried rice (fried with eggs and veggies), or hot cereal/porridge mixed with quinoa

Snacks- roasted soynuts or chickpeas, trail mix (nut and seeds based), yogurt or cottage cheese, protein bars, hard boiled eggs, hummus or bean dip, lunch meat rolls, "ants on a log" (celery and nut butters with raisins on top), cheese sticks or cubes, avocado, or sushi/sashimi.  

Lunch- soups made with chicken, beef, or fish broth or beans or lentils or protein heavy veggies like peas and broccoli, open faced sandwhiches with tuna or chicken or egg salad or lunch meats and cheese, sushi/sashimi, or a garden salad with lots of nuts or meat and/or avocados on top

Dinner- Meat, poultry, fish, or beans and lentils.  Serve with lots of dark green veggies.



Eat your protein! If you aren't getting enough in your food.... try protein shakes. You can use the powdered protein in other ways too.... like your sauces, mix in with yogurt, or bake into cookies and pancakes.

I ask this question to nearly every person who gets on my massage table.  Are you a locker or a clencher? 

Lockers lock their knees and elbows....all the time.  They tend to be prone to fear and anxiety, insomnia, depression, and often will run away from problems (figuratively and literally).  

Clenchers clench their jaw, butt, hands and toes and they are doing this all the time as well.  They cross their arms or interlace their fingers when inpatient or board and they are prone to TMJ, headaches, frequent frustration, and anger, and will put up a fight when facing a problem. 

Then..... there are the talented ones.  They are BOTH lockers and clenchers.  Their stress levels are extremely high.  The talented ones are in fact only one of those two but are so overwhelmed all the time by life that they attempt to do both and end up unable to do neither effectively.  They tend to freeze up in high intensity situations or when facing challenges.


Why does this matter?  Well, we all deal with stress and unless you are one of those talented ones, you either will deal with it by fighting or fleeing.  We are hard wired this way.  So, one of the best ways to manage stress is actually being very mindful of your body and what it is doing when you go through your day.  


Check out some of these common scenarios:


- Are you clenching your butt when you wash the dishes?  
- Do you lock your knees when listening or communicating to someone while standing?  
- Do you clench your jaw when someone disappoints you?  
- Do you grip the steering wheel?  
- Do you hold your arms close to your body either straight or completely bent when you are supposed to be relaxing?

KPBS had this brilliant episode last month on loosing weight.  According to the description:

In summary (I got more than 10 tips out of this video...):

1) Visceral fat is extremely dangerous and you often don't even know you have it because it is INSIDE of you around your organs. 

2) Skipping meals makes you crave high calorie fats and sugars to compensate for not eating enough.  When you eat regularly and are getting the nutrients you need, you don't crave high or low calorie foods which means you don't need willpower to fight cravings..... or salad.

3) Change your plate size to something smaller and you will eat less.  Having a bigger plate makes you eat more, even if you aren't hungry anymore.

4) Use low calorie versions of your favorite foods, like yogurt with spices for salad dressing instead of creamy bottled dressings or toast in the morning instead of donuts.  You are likely eating up to 60% more calories that you realize, which makes a 1200 calorie day actually a 3000 calorie day!

5) Healthy foods like fruit or starchy vegetables like peas and carrots are not always "free" foods and low in calories, especially if you are eating too much of them.  

6) Protein rich foods keep you feeling fuller for longer and suppresses food cravings and lower portion sizes.

7) Liquefied food stays in your stomach longer, which makes you feel fuller for longer and thus staves off hunger pains.  Soups and smoothies anyone?!?

8) The more variety on your plate, the more likely you will overeat.  Likewise, the more food options you have, the more likely you will load up your plate.  Say no to the buffet! 

9) Calcium from dairy binds to the fat you consume so you don't absorb as much of it.  Instead, it goes right through you!  Lower fat dairy options work just as well as high fat dairy, except you have a sum total less fat absorbed when you consume low fat dairy options.

10) Most fat burned from exercise is burned in the 72 hours AFTER exercise, not during.  During exercise you burn mostly simple carbohydrates.  

11) Incorporating small changes in your routine to minimize the amount you sit burns more calories throughout the day, which can add up to hundreds of calories a day.  Walk the stairs or pace while on the phone.

Everyone I meet asks me how I'm doing.  There seems to be two acceptable responses.... "I'm good!" and "I'm really busy!". The inevitable reply, especially if you say you are busy, is an affirmation that being busy is a really great thing.  Something I've been thinking a lot about lately though.... is busy really good?

Just over 3 years ago I was working 60+ hours a week.  I was under a lot of stress and I finally just snapped.  I had a complete breakdown and basically didn't leave my house for months.  I needed an alternative to corporate America, so I applied to massage school.  3 years later, I still work 60+ hours a week, but it is a different kind of work.  I work for myself, and a significant part of my work requires me to exercise, meditate, breathe, think, read, and reflect.  Honestly, I don't get paid for most of the work I do.  When I getting paid, I am working with clients.... which is still pretty low key since I am listening to soothing music in dim lights in a spa-like atmosphere.  When I am searching for new clients, the best thing to do is be myself.  The better I take care of myself and more authentic I am living the life that makes me happy.... whether that is doing my hobbies or making new friends, or trying out new and exciting activities, the better off I become financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Busy for me actually means something really different than what most people think of as busy.  I am often busy smelling flowers or having fun or reading a book for my bookclub.  We require down time in order to have the energy to "work".  1/3 of our days are spent sleeping.  Another third needs to be down time to "recharge" our batteries.  The remaining third is work.  That includes not just actual work you are paid for, but all of your chores and activities that TAKE energy away from you.... the things that you "have to do".  

So, is busy really good?  What do you think?  I would love to hear your thoughts.

Vinegar (Rice, Apple Cider, Balsamic, etc) or Citrus Juice (limes, lemons, oranges, grapefruit)
Oil (Olive, Safflower, Rice, Avocado, etc)
Salt
Honey or agave or your favorite jam

1) Mix 1 part oil to two parts vinegar/citrus juice and beat with a fork until blended together.

2) Add a small pinch salt and sweetener to taste.  If the oil is not well blended into the vinegar, it will be harder to trial taste.

****For a unique and exciting variation of above... add herbs or spices to taste (such as fennel, parsley, chopped onion, Italian spices, or cumin, pomegranate syrup, mustard, etc)

There is a connection we have with our bodies (and our bodies have with our mind) that is convoluted, dialectical, impatient, loving, and downright complicated (See Part 1).  Sometimes, things go catastrophically wrong with that connection and we are left wondering what is wrong with us (See Part 2).  How do you heal from a disconnection when we never acknowledged there was a connection, or even recognize that the problem is the actual connection?


If a disconnection from our bodies results in numbness, obsession, and control, a connection with our bodies would most likely look like embodiment and enlightenment.  Most of us, however, live somewhere in between.  


For those who don’t have a body (metaphorically, of course), it means opening your heart to feelings and allowing your body to use it’s senses- feel the grass under your toes, listen to classical music or the birds, visit the art museum, create a flavorful dinner, or light scented candles throughout the house.  



For those of us who want a different body and will do anything to change it, it may mean spending some time with the Serenity Prayer:

For those of us who just want to FEEL something, find someone who has gone through something similar and share your experiences.  You can gain control and mastery over your life when you can identify the things that are overwhelming you or giving you emotional pain.  


Once we embrace these, we begin to repair our connection with ourselves and we begin to live in our bodies and our minds in a new and more dynamic and fulfilling way.  We embody ourselves and make ourselves more concrete and we perceive ourselves in a new way.  We stop making apologies for being who we are.  We also get new insight in how to live our lives in a more meaningful and purposeful way.  We can reach out to each other and connect and share and grow.  

There is a connection we have with our bodies (and our bodies have with our mind) that is convoluted, dialectical, impatient, loving, and downright complicated (See Part 1).  Sometimes, things go catastrophically wrong with that connection and we are left wondering what is wrong with us.   What does a disconnection look like?


1) There are the people that don't know they have a body.  I'm not kidding.  They get dressed in the morning and eat every day and exercise and hug people, but never do so from a point of actually being IN their body.  Their bodies are full of pain that that is just about the only thing they know about it.  They have cut off their bodies and don't really feel much.  They often don’t even realize that they don’t realize that they have cut off their bodies.  When they start unfreezing or something gets through their tough and numbed exterior, they are often surprised that there is a whole world they never knew existed.  These are the people that say things like my world became alive or full of color after falling in love or recovering from depression or finally getting relief from a debilitating illness.  



2) There are the people that change their bodies in extreme ways to fit into an ideal image.  They get surgery, take drugs, sculpt themselves at the gym, and watch or count everything that enters their mouth.  They feel like their body doesn't match their internal image of themselves and are so dysphoric they are willing to do ANYTHING to not be what other people see them as on the outside.  Their brains quite literally have an image (or a map) of what their bodies are supposed to look like.  In fact, there is a whole section of the brain called the parietal lobes that integrates information from your senses and your experiences and expectations of what it means to be a human and what a human is supposed to look like to give you an internal image of what you are supposed to look like.  You hear these people spending the majority of their day preoccupied with “improving” themselves.  This disconnection between what you think or feel you should look like and what you actually look like is what causes why skinny people to say they feel fat and transgender individuals to say their bodies don’t match their gender.



3) There are the people that abuse their bodies in ways that poses a threat their own health.  Something has happened that is so overwhelming emotionally that self-abuse and self-harm through pain, abstinence, denial, and more is the only way to get a break from the weight of the emotions and thoughts.  Abusing their bodies seem to be the only thing that makes life REAL.  Everyday life is like walking through a movie watching someone else, or is so horribly hellish that they feel completely and utterly isolated and alone.  Physical pain and denial is a way to gain control and mastery over their own lives.  The only time they feel alive is when they are getting that adrenaline rush or consuming food and drink that is making them sick or cutting themselves to make sure they are still alive.



How do you heal from a disconnection when we never acknowledged there was a connection, or even recognize that the problem is the actual connection?


Check back tomorrow for Part 3 of Thoughts on Bodies: Healing the Divide

Bodies.  Our bodies define us in so many ways, yet we disown them in so many more.  Our uniforms, our haircuts, our styles and the way we showcase ourselves signify everything from socio-economic class and race, to gender identity, to the community we identify with and our "tribe".  At the same time, we disown our bodies and disconnect with them in profound and sometimes abusive ways.  Our relationships and experiences with our bodies, whether it is dragging them around and making them wait while we think or learn, or taking them out for a walk, or getting frustrated when they get sick or break out in hives or whatever, define our core experience.  We struggle each day to feed them the right way, rest them enough, and exercise them enough.  We become so shameful about them that we try and force our bodies to conform to an ideal, and we get frustrated that they can't keep up with us.  


We tend to treat our bodies as something separate from our "self".  We are embarrassed by them, dress them up, hide them, sculpt them with weights and dumbbells or plastic surgery, ink them, mutilate them, starve them, or overfeed them.  At the same time, they are what make us and helps define us as "who I am".  It is exactly the way we dress them up, or hide them, or sculpt them, or ink them, mutilate, starve, or overfeed them that sends a message about "this is who I am".  


Underneath all of that, though, is another dialectic.  We insist that our bodies are different than our minds and in many ways they most definitively are.  You can't think up E=mc2 by putting your body in a pink tutu or running around a tree (although you might be able to do those simultaneously), yet our bodies also create and define how our minds function.... and vice versa.  There is a connection between our minds and bodies that is so profound that we get pits and butterflies in our stomachs or feel like our hearts are breaking.  When we get angry, we clench our fists and when we get scared we lock our knees.  There is an intricate connection between mind and body that is so obvious that we often deny it exists at all.  In fact, the concept of separating our bodies so much as to talk about taking them for a walk or making them wait around while we learn seems ludicrous.  We are fundamentally intertwined with our bodies.


What happens when things go catastrophically wrong with that connection and we are left wondering what is wrong with us?  How do you heal from a disconnection when we never acknowledged there was a connection, or even recognize that the problem is the actual connection?  What does a disconnection look like?


These are the people that don't know they have a body, change it in ways to fit into an ideal image, or abuse it in ways that poses a threat their own health.   


Stay tuned for tomorrow on "Thoughts on Bodies- Part 2: Catastrophic Disconnection".